Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

LATEST ICC RULES

(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND
WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH
UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over
ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek
the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule
is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the
FOURTH UMPIRE.

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close
to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be
considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or
grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the
FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with
SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE
decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might
not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES
(minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER
WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores
a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge
bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all
players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they
will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in
any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM
advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be
considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this
rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure
that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE
UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice
in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to
ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and
create history in the game of CRICKET.

These rules will clarify better to the all teams VISITING AUSTRALIA.
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Friday, 14 December 2007

Best Poem of 2006 - UN

Nominated by UN as the best Poem of 2006 - Written by an African Kid

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in Sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

And when you die, you grey


And you calling me colored??
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Thursday, 13 December 2007

Biggest hug....

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have
ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.

Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the
beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to
live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs 5 lakh cheque to ICICI Bank?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay for our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheque for the auto
loan to them too this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that too, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gave her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls
away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"
....

...

...

...












Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!"
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